The Greenie Deal


How sweet the smile of bright-eyed Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez! And in an exquisitely tailored green outfit! Just what the Dems needed to roll out the future of America. The young and lovely leadership buster of the Empire State’s District-14 came out to the microphone, gave her melodious spiel, and got hugged by a US Senator, cheered on by a gaggle of salivating Congressmen fellow travelers in the background.

The planet’s demise was even predicted – 2030! With only a scant dozen years to environmental crisis, possibly catastrophe, it was an emergency roll-out, corners cut so no details were available as of posting, just a bold set of requirements to stave off impending perdition.

And the Deal? Wages for workers unwilling to work! Replacement of fossil fuels by renewables, curing the energy ills of the nation’s commercial buildings, high-speed rail to replace air-travel, a change in our collective diet, and a cork, or bottle, in every cow while they’re waiting to be shipped off to zoos and retirement homes – no, actually they only have bovine retirement homes in India; In the US, they’ll just abort their lives somewhat early. Could we at least consume the last steaks and burgers since there’s no market for sirloin stem cell research?

Considering the not-ready-for-prime-time nature of the Greenie Deal, it was furthermore most surprising that several of the newly-minted presidential primary hopefuls endorsed the grand scheme. Imagine the endless media queries about their Greener-than-thou policy stances as the race heats up. Will Indian-American Kamela help find hospice for de-mobbed cattle in her ancestral land? Could Native-American Pocahontas rustle a few? Could Corey recommend some vegan recipes, or help insulate some of the older building stock in Newark? How might Julian suggest cooling San Antonio’s enclosed spaces? Will they all take trains home on the weekends, and how about whistle stop campaigning? Buses are such fossils nowadays! And do we have to take boats to Hawaii? Can we resurrect Solyndra or is it too late? Is climate change affected more by bovine or solar wind? And what of the whale? We need more detail…

But in all seriousness, please spare us further torment. Despite it’s inevitable resurgence for illustrative jabs in the coming election cycle, the Greenie Deal will probably just evaporate in the summer heat. Now, all the other Democrats, who suffered the naked embarrassment of the moment along with the rest of the country, just want to bid it good riddance. It’s questionable at this point that climate change will be the hoax to propel socialism forward in the left’s attempt to regain power. There are others: Detentions on the southern border? #metoo and #somelivesmatter, ‘cause we ain’t woke yet? Increased thermal activity in Yellowstone and micro-quakes across the Midwest, a result of fracking? Asteroids on a collision course? Nary a cataclysm to be wasted. In any event, sweet AOC won’t be deterred long; it’s just a matter of when her staffers can find another opportune crisis to exploit and entertain us. We’re sure to hear their Siren Song of Socialism again. And soon. Millions of Twitter followers are waiting!